Treats and tickertape

For those of you who have been reading this blog since it was first started, you will know that last Friday was one of Canada's favourite nights - Halloween. Last year, we sort of stumbled through it in a post emigratory haze and this year I was determined to get into the full swing of things. I had plans to carve pumpkins, decorate the outside of the house with ghoulish paraphernalia and get myself costumed up. In the event, we managed a hand made black cat stuck on the front door. As usual, our best intentions came to nothing but we did, however have a good Halloween. We were invited to a friends house for a bit of a do and so that we could group our respective children together to go trick or treating. We bought Charlotte a proper costume (she went as a snow princess) and managed to borrow one for Eleanor in the form of a giraffe - don't ask. To be honest, I'm not a big dressing up kind of guy and I prefer to leave that sort of thing for the kids, but after this year's experience, I might have a re-think next year. You see this year, it was the mens' turn to accompany the children on their annual rampage through the streets, happily relieving every possible household of their supply of candy and it was, I have to say, darn good fun. They each had purpose made candy bags to collect their spoils and one enduring image of the event will be of my 2 year old running maniacally from house to house, dressed as a furry animal and happily joining in with the 'trick or treat' refrain before opening up her bag. The sight of her dragging an increasingly bulging bag across people's front yards was very funny indeed. If the sight of groups of children dressed in costumes ranging from the Incredible Hulk to well.. a giraffe wasn't funny enough, the behaviour and good natured involvement of the average Canadian householder was also worthy of note. Most houses are decked out to some degree, but others are just incredible. For one evening a year some people just go crazy.

The imagination of many house owners is to be applauded as you come across gardens converted into graveyards, zombies and mummys rub shoulders with coffins, witches and giant spiders and an increasingly number of gardens sport theatrical lights, dry ice and chilling sound effects that just add that extra little edge of terror for your average 6 year old. One house had covered their entire frontage with a black sheet onto which they had attached any number of grisly items, the family were outside in full costume surrounded by animatronic ghosts, headless corpses and suchlike. It was a little surreal to see Death having a quick cup of coffee whilst chatting to a fully bandaged and rather animated mummy. Needless to say, when the kids turned up, they were given the full Halloween welcome and left with an absurd amount of candy to add to their stash. If you ever get the chance to pass a few words with a headless corpse, I would recommend it - very entertaining. As good as that was, my personal favourite was coming across a house which had the traditional flickering pumpkins outside and a modicum of other attractions, but when the children rang the doorbell, a perfectly dressed, white faced and completely authentic Count Dracula came to the door. He wished them all a chilling 'good evening children' doled out some candy, waved and then retired back into his house no doubt to have a quick lie down in his living room coffin (or should that be living dead room?). He played it completely straight faced and it was all the more wonderful for that. I love Halloween, next year I'm really going to make an effort. Mind you, we will still be getting through the enormous pile of candy that the children blagged - that is if our teeth haven't fallen out first.

From one bizarre event to another, yesterday saw the first black American voted into the most influential post in the world as Barack Obama creamed John McCain for the US Presidency. Most Canadians gave the whole shebang a complete ignoring to, but Claire and I were glued to the most excellent BBC World coverage for the whole evening. The Americans, it must be said are a very bizarre nation. Whereas it took Canada three weeks to re-elect Stephen Harper as their Prime Minister of a country that is second largest in the world and it takes us Brits between three and six weeks to elect 630 or so MP's in a country with a population of 20 times that of Canada, it takes 20 months and over a billion dollars for the Americans to chose one of two people to lead their country. The candidates fly all over the States, they have thousands of volunteers, hundreds of campaign offices and an army of aides and helpers to tell the public what they could probably find out by reading a newspaper. As much as I enjoy the razzamatazz of the American election and am darn pleased that Obama has won in a historic moment for Western democracy, I can't help but feel somewhat uneasy at the obscene amounts of money that have been spent to get him there. If his message is that good (and I think it is) and the American people are that interested (and I think they are) in a change from the ridiculous Bush administration, why does it take the gross national product of a small African nation to get there? In these days of high speed communication, instant news and prolific media coverage, do the candidates really have to meet every single voter in America to get the point across?

The answer of course, is yes because the average American voter can't just get by on televised speeches, reports on the mandates and analysis of the policies. It is not their way. They must see their politicians up close and personal, they have to experience the messianic like rhetoric of their champion and they have to have an army of people to bang the message in. No wonder John McCain looked like he was on the point of collapse and Obama exhausted to the point where even he couldn't smile any more, even at his victory speech. I enjoyed the election and look forward to Obama's presidency. If I may, I would like to make an observation, America, if you would permit. If you want to help solve the financial crisis, wouldn't it help if you stopped fighting unwinnable wars and cap the time and money you spend on electing your leader? Don't you think that would help - just a bit?

Highlights of last night: Obama winning, McCain's heartfelt and noble concession speech, the BBC coverage, putting the ghost of Florida 2000 to rest and the thumping great Democrat majority.
Low points: A grumpy Republican dissing the BBC because the reporter dared to challenge a party member's answer to his question and the sight of people crying and wailing at the political gatherings. Get a grip.

1 year in....

The 12th of this month marked an important milestone in the Alberta Adventure. It was the first anniversary of the Palmer family's arrival in Canada. Yes, believe it or not, we have been here for one whole year. In fact that whole weekend was pretty significant. The 11th was my 51st birthday, so we will quickly pass over that, the 12th was the anniversary and the 13th was Thanksgiving Day here in Canada. A triple whammy in fact. I wondered what to write about to mark this auspicious occasion - our feelings about the move?, our plans for the next year maybe or should I do a summary of our first year? Well, I'm not doing any of those. Instead, I'm going to present some of the more offbeat observations about our adoptive country witnessed to some degree during this first 12 months. A sort of homage to the quirky side of Canada.

First though, I do feel I should mention that Claire witnessed Edmonton's finest in action whilst she waited in the car outside Ikea last weekend. Car driven into car park by some grubby looking ne'er do well, hotly pursued by patrol cars and cornered. Out jumps many policemen who surround said vehicle with guns drawn and proceed to drag the villain out of the car, plaster him over the bonnet, handcuff him and march him off to for a spell in the slammer. 'Quite exciting' she said later, 'I was particularly impressed with the speed and no nonsense manner of the arrest'. In the UK of course, it would have been 'could you please step outside of the vehicle sir, and present your driving credentials'. Over here, it was more like ' get out of the ***** car now or we will shoot you'. Great stuff. Unless you happen to be the poor sap in the car of course.

Anyway, after that little diversion, on to my little list. Here are some of the more interesting observations we have made about the Canadian culture so far...

Canadians treat winter with the contempt it deserves. They laugh in the face of sub-zero temperatures and a foot or two of snow. They only get annoyed when it gets so cold that the barbecue refuses to light.

Canadians walk on the right. Just like they drive. If you pass them on the stairs or a sidewalk they will always pass you left shoulder to left shoulder. In the UK, people will pass you on the opposite shoulder, check it out.

Coffee is a religion. It is not a beverage, it is not a diversion. It is a way of life, OK?

There is only one thing more important than ice hockey. It is just that I cannot think of it at the moment..

Most Canadians mistake the English accent for Australian. Even with the ever increasing number of Brits coming into the country, they still have trouble differentiating between the two.

If you have more than one vehicle in the household, at least one of them must be a Ford 150 truck or similar. How else are they going to move their RV/camper/trailer to the lake at weekends?

The Canadian tv guide requires careful study. For every new episode of House, there are 25 episodes of Friends, Frasier or ER being shown, simultaneously on at least 10 channels. Spotting new series and programmes isn't easy, it is an art form. The movie 'Under Seige' starring Steven Seagal will be always available for viewing at any time.

Canadians are not soft. They will complain vociferously if they do not get good service in restaurants, will haggle over the price of something if they believe they can get it cheaper and whinge incessantly when the price of fuel goes over 1 dollar(50p) a litre.

If your house does not have the following items, you don't belong baby.
An integrated garden sprinkler system.
A barbecue.
A basement with a wet bar.
A garden deck.
At least 6 televisions.
A number of bicycles in the garage, some of which are actually usable.
A firepit.
An electric garage door with two remote controls.

Canadians love. Their gardens, trucks, garage sales, the outdoors/camping, festivals, their basements, Halloween, their country, children, voluntary work, eating outdoors, winter sports, the National Parks and anything involving doughnuts.

Canadians hate. Americans, local government, bad service in restaurants, giving up their weekends to work, walking, untidy gardens, inactivity and people who don't clear the sidewalks outside of their house.

There is of course much more and no doubt I will touch on a number of these in future blogs. It has to be said, that apart from a brief sojourn into British Columbia, all of our experience has been limited to Alberta. I hope that over time I can enjoy observing the resident Canadian in other provinces whilst continuing to discover new things here at home. 1 year in eh?

Pride comes with the Fall

One of the many benefits of living in Canada is the definite nature of the seasons. I've already talked about this in a previous blog when I mentioned that the arrival of the first day of spring and the distinctive change that it can bring could almost be measured to the day. I feel that it is worth re-visiting for the change from summer. Also, as I will be 51 on Saturday, I have an excuse to start repeating myself. As soon as the weather reporters start talking about the first day of Fall, you can see people gathering in small groups outside your window, looking at the sky and muttering 'yep, Fall is here' as the first leaf decides enough is enough and heads earth bound. This is when the changes become instantly noticeable. One day the trees are green, the next it looks like some demented street artist has been let loose as the leaves transform into all the colours of the rainbow. We are particularly blessed in St. Albert as we have many, many trees and therefore the colourscape becomes quite beautiful.

With the falling of the leaves comes another Canadian pastime. Keeping your front lawns leaf free at all costs. People take great pride in their real estate here and that includes the grounds. The grass is neatly trimmed, shrubs are manicured to within an inch of their lives and borders are relentlessly tended. Therefore, the intrusion of half a ton of leaves on one's lawn is not so much a nuisance but more like a declaration of war. Needless to say, the average householder has a battery of weapons against this invader. They have leaf blowers, mulchers, leaf shredders, vacuums, electric brushes and other assorted gizmos. I have a rake. To be honest, a rake and a bit of elbow grease is all you really need, particularly when your neighbours are quite happy to lend you their equipment, or in the case of our neighbours, actually pitch in with you. With everyone helping, it doesn't take long. Even the kids chipped in, Charlotte specializing in 'leaf compression' (jumping up and down in the compost bins) and Eleanor in 'leaf re-alignment' (dispersing neatly piled stacks of leaves around the lawn).

With the onset of cooler weather (although we have been enjoying an Indian summer) comes another, distinctly North American task - blowing out ones sprinklers. Now this isn't as disturbing as it might sound. The majority of houses, to go with their immaculate turf, have built-in automatic sprinkler systems which can be programmed to water various parts of your garden at any set time. Our house is no different. We inherited a seven zone system (read that - a seven zone system baby), which can be adjusted to suit the weather conditions. They are pretty much 'fire and forget' systems and have a tendency to activate at inopportune times. It is not so easy to forget, as you stroll across your manicured lawn, when a jet of cold water blasts up your trousers. The cats have been led a merry old dance too as no sooner have they figured out how to retreat away from one zone, then another one pops up and zaps them straight between the whiskers. Anyway, I digress. A downside of this otherwise labour saving wonder, is that before the winter arrives and the temperatures fall below freezing, you have to clear out the water in the system to prevent the whole hose network bursting. For this you either need to contact a specialist, who will turn up with a complex system of pipes and a compressor and then charge you much dollar for the service, or you join the neighbourhood compressor society. This is great. One person in your neighbourhood arranges to hire a compressor for the weekend and then just passes it around to anyone on the list. You then carry out the procedure yourself - with the help of your ever reliant neighbours of course. I managed to purge my entire system for the princely sum of $16. Bargain.

Of course, underlying all this activity lies the fact that the big freeze is just around the corner and before we know it, it will be hats and gloves all round. In a strange and somewhat disturbing way, I'm looking forward to the winter and the challenges it will bring. Most of all of course, I'm looking forward to the winter because it gives one a very good excuse to stay indoors and do nothing. After all, it is a bit difficult to clear up your garden when it is under three feet of snow..

General election, private ignorance

A few days ago, Claire and I took part in one of those 'Test the Nation' quizzes on tv. It was all about Canada, so we figured we would have a go to see how much we really new about our adopted homeland. After all, we figured, the least we could do was fail miserably. As it happened we got 50%, so not bad really. We were pretty good on the generic stuff such as 'how many time zones does Canada have?' (6 if you are interested) and we guessed a lot, but what we were truly terrible on, maybe unsurprisingly, was Canadian politics. Of course, traditionally, politics is something that registers on most people's radar at an interest level only marginally higher than the tenth season of Big Brother, but I always found it interesting and stimulating, particularly at election time. At least I did in the UK. In Canada, I realised that I knew virtually nothing about the political landscape; the parties, the personalities and the policies of this nation.
This was all brought into focus recently by the announcement that there will be a general election on the 14th October. I felt duty bound to find out exactly what makes this nation's political heart tick. Now, I'm not going to go into too much detail, after all I do want anyone reading this blog to come back again, but I felt that this was as good a place as any to organise my thoughts on the subject.

So, here we go, Canadian politics in a nutshell. There are 308 seats in the parliament and four main parties. The outgoing prime minister is Stephen Harper, leader of the Conservative party who are very similar to the current Tory party in the UK. They held 127 seats and are expected to return to power. Trying to stop them are the Liberals (equivalent to the SDP, but with more seats than them - 95, pre-dissolution). They are headed up by Stephane Dion, a Québécois, whose main disadvantage is that he speaks English with such a broad French accent that no-one can understand a word that he is saying. Talking of French speakers, the third party are the Bloc Québécois who held 48 seats, all of them in Quebec, natch, and whose only policy seems to be a desire for independence for Quebec. The final party of significance are the New Democrats, who had 30 seats and are the Canadian equivalent to the UK Labour party. So basically Canada is just right of centre, with little chance of becoming anything more than liberal and who find the Bloc Québécois an irritating impedance to running the country generally. There is one other party which held a single seat, the Greens, who are hoping to pull in more support this time around. Then again, we have heard that before....

In terms of who stands for what, well that is a bit foggy at the moment. I can honestly say that I have little idea of each party's manifesto and any attempt to read further on the subject, or watch a political programme, soon results in a mild headache and a desire to drink beer. One of the problems is that events here are rather overshadowed by what is happening south of the border. I get the impression that people are more interested (or should that be concerned?) in what is going to happen in the US than their own country and that the election here is distinctly of lesser significance. Of course, many of the issues involved in the election are pretty much universal. There are the two areas where Canadians are at their most piqued, the economy and the environment. Nothing is more crucial to their psyche than having money to spend on their most treasured pursuit, the outdoors, so the amount of that money and an outdoors to spend it on is of paramount importance. Also on the agenda are the city infrastructures and Afghanistan. Canada is not involved in Iraq (they had the sense to stay the hell away) but they are involved in what is, aguably, the more noble motives of defeating the Taliban.
Perhaps though, the more interesting issues are the ones that are absent from the political arena. Two issues that are big in the UK, are often controversial and which normally take up a sizable chunk of the budget. They are health, and law and order. It isn't so much that Canadians don't care about these areas, they do, like any society, it is just that they are just not issues. The Health Service here is not perfect, but it works and it is better than the US system. Also most employees are in a health care plan at work and are content with that. Law and order is the same, people here generally trust the RCMP, serious crime is limited to a few crazies and a few areas and the vast majority of people live in secure and safe neighbourhoods. You don't have that paranoia that is inveigling it's way into British society either, where every single white male is a suspected terrorist or paedophile and groups of teenagers are viewed as potential threats and not as harmlessly going about their business.

Maybe my self-confessed ignorance of the political landscape here has meant that there is more out there than meets the eye, I'm sure there is. That however, is part of the experience of being a relative newcomer to a country, discovering the important issues and uncovering the facts behind the fog. I'm looking forward to it.
As a footnote, because we are not yet Canadian citizens, Claire and I cannot vote, so we could argue that everything here is academic. The point though is that one day, we will be eligible and we owe it to Canada to vote from an informed standpoint. Claire and I are both avid believers in the democratic system and believe everyone's vote should count. So better to learn the ropes now so that we take an effective part later.

Fall guy

I've always enjoyed Autumn, or, as we are in Canada, Fall. This is just as well as the weather here has decided that summer is over and we are in need of some reminding of things to come. Therefore the temperatures have dropped, the wind has picked up and people are quick to ask you if you 'are ready for winter yet'. That doesn't mean that it is unpleasant outside, it isn't, but it is noticeable how different the weather is now as the nights draw in and the trees begin their colourful transformation. For most Canadians, this means one thing - yard work. Preparing their garden for the months of snow to come and making the most of the remaining fair weather to prune, clip, tether and secure their most precious plants. For me, this time of year means staring at the yard and willing some helpful yard fairy will appear and do the work for me.

Fall also means other things of course. The most prominent being the return to school/college. This is a big year for Charlotte, our no. 1 daughter, as she starts grade 1 and therefore will soon know the meaning of one of the most hated words in the schooling dictionary - homework. She has been very keen to start and hopped off to her first day with great enthusiasm. Pleasingly, she also came home with great enthusiasm and announced that 'it was really good'. Unlike the UK, during the summer recess, every child's parents are presented with a long list of items that are required to be purchased and presented on the first day. For instance, 12 coloured crayons, 6 erasers, 6 glue sticks, one painting shirt, 12 sharpened HB pencils etc. Also on the list was one cauldron, medium and their choice of a cat, owl or rat. OK I made that bit up. However, there was one item - 3 no. duotangs, assorted colours, which baffled the heck out of Claire and I. What the hell were they? I thought they may be a type of chewy sweet, Claire thought that was just wishful thinking. After a panic phone call to one of her soccer-mom friends, it was revealed that a duotang was a type of document folder with metal fasteners. Yeah, right, of course you knew that.

Another Fall type problem is when to purchase the winter tyres for the car. Over here, one type of tyre will not get you through the year, not safely anyway. So we must embark on the tedious best-price searching task to get new tyres in time before the roads magically transform themselves into skating rinks. The problem is, everyone will be doing much the same thing and probably finding that everywhere will be selling them at much the same price anyway. The best place apparently, is Canadian Tire (the clue is probably in the name), which is one of the biggest stores in St. Albert and despite it's name, sells everything from fishing rods and light bulbs to, well er tyres. (Please note the refusal to spell the word tyre incorrectly, thank you America). Canadian Tire isn't so much a store as a Canadian institution and it is one of those places that if you cannot find what you are looking for there, it probably doesn't exist. This is unlike the Evil Empire (aka WalMart), where if you cannot find what you are looking for there, they probably just haven't bothered to stock up the shelves...Canadian Tire also has the distinction of founding Canada's second currency, Canadian Tire Money. It looks just like Monopoly money and you get it when you spend any amount in the store. After saving up your Canadian Tire dollars, you can spend it in any store you like- as long as that store is Canadian Tire. Of course.

Finally for now: Last Friday the nominated provider on the Donut List at Stantec failed to provide their quota of doughnuts (I'm not being inconsistent here, Donut is a proper noun in this context and doughnuts isn't- for the nit-picky amongst you). Mumblings of discontent were heard in the corridors as were rumblings of likely consequences, as well as stomachs. I await the offender's punishment with great interest.....

Twin team Olympics

One of the many advantages of living in one country and being a national of another is that you get to support two teams when it comes around to international competitions. Thus it was, when the Olympics started in Beijing, I found myself in the position of being able to support the athletes from both Britain and Canada. It must be said, that no matter how long we end up living here, Claire and I will always retain our British nationality but we would also like to become Canadian citizens when the opportunity arrives. The children may have other plans when they come of age, but we would certainly like the choice of which passport to carry around. It is fair to say that I am still biased toward wanting more British success than Canadian, if only to arm myself against any lighthearted bantering at work. Also with 2012 appearing over the horizon, you would want the UK to go into it's own games with some sort of positive sporting reputation.
Anyway, I had it all planned. The British would get the medals in their traditional fields, sailing, cycling etc and Canada would be superior in erm, hang on - what exactly are Canada's strengths? A glance at the event lists gave only minor help. So there is the canoeing. Yep, Canada have to be good at that, lots of lakes and rivers, tough and manly. Hockey? Probably. What about shooting? After all hunting and fishing are strong activities out here too. Fast forwarding to the end of the first week, the Canadian strengths became more apparent - they didn't have any. As the British seemed to be picking up medals for simply getting out of bed in the morning, Canada were collecting, well, bugger all actually. I logged on to the official website every morning to see that team GB had won another clutch of medals and team Canada had a big fat zero.

Much to their credit, the Canadian people didn't really seemed to mind. The press and tv continued to support the athletes by showing lots of clips of them in training, discussion of the games at the water cooler, although muted, was all about how close they came to picking up bronze in the womens 100m butterfly and there was a 'we are just pleased to get to Bejiing at all' sort of vibe. It was reminiscent of the UK 10 years ago. Plucky, but ultimately doomed. Optimistic, but quietly hoping that the athletes don't fail spectacularly and show them up. As time went on however, two things became noticeable.
Firstly, there were the British successes. The Canadian press and tv didn't mention it at all. Nothing. The otherwise excellent coverage by CBC of the games (apart from the infernal, overlong, overfrequent, repetitive and simply infuriatingly badly timed commercials) seemingly went out of their way to avoid showing any event where the Brits won anything. Naturally, they would show coverage of their own athletes, quite rightly, even if the competitor was challenging for 15th place in the archery or some such. The BBC would do no different. However, when settling down to watch Rebecca Adlington race for her gold in the 800m swimming freestyle, I was incensed when just before the start, CBC cut to the local news. They returned 5 minutes later to the mens 20km walk, and then back to the pool by which time, Adlington had dried off, dressed and was heading downtown for a well deserved beer. Was this deliberate? Could this be, dare I say it, jealousy? Or was it simply a coincidence of scheduling? Claire thought I was ranting unfairly, I thought hmmmm. It was noticeable, when Canada did start picking up medals, that coverage of British success started to become more apparent. I would be the last person to accuse the otherwise fair and decent Canadian mentality of anything resembling a toddler temper tantrum, but it all looked a bit too coincidental to me.....

The other noticeable change, was that everybody, especially the press, seemed to get a bit grumpy but in a kind of constructive way. You see, unlike the British in darker days, who would just blame the athletes for not trying hard enough, the weather, or the track markings being in the wrong language, the Canadians simply admitted that in many areas - they just weren't good enough. This is both laudable and noble and in my relatively short time here, not at all surprising. They cheered every performance of their team, no matter if they came 16th in a field of, well, 16 and not once did you hear anyone call the team's dedication and determination into question. Their support for their athletes, instead of waning, simply racked up a notch and when they did start winning medals, were all the more overjoyed for it. I became just as anxious to see Canadian success if only for the fact that I was starting to get embarrassed with the relative positions of the two teams in the medal table. I wanted Canada to do well. I didn't mind at all when their men's rowing eight beat GB's especially when, in typical Canadian style, they didn't crow about it. Immensely pleased they were, but not in a ' nah, nah, nah nah nah we beat you, we beat you' sort of way.

Which is why I really enjoyed these games more than I normally do, because the icing was really put on the cake at the expense of the world's perennial sporting big-heads. Yep, success to China and the USA is expected and well-deserved, GB's medal haul is unbelievable, Canada's resolve and sense of fair play is a pleasure, but the fact that GB won more gold medals than the bloody Australians is just priceless.

Jasper (2) - Down the creek (with a paddle)

There are many rivers in Jasper National Park. It should therefore not come as much of a surprise to know that many of the varied and numerous activities available to the daring traveller are connected to the water. One of these and an activity that has been high on my 'to do' list for some years, is white-water rafting. Once established in our comfortable chalet at the Alpine Village, we wasted no time in tracking down a reputable rafting company in order to book our water-bourne adventure. Claire was very much in the mind set too and we were pleased to see that children 6 and over could take part in the level 1 or 2 rafting, so we booked Charlotte in too. Now the difficulty level associated with rafting, aka the 'buttock-clenching rating' is measured from 1 to 5. Level 1 is for novices and wimps and it gradually increases to 5, which is for the clinically insane, the suicidal or the adrenaline freaks who think launching oneself of a vertical waterfall is 'jolly good fun'. We booked level 1.
On arriving at the launch point, having travelled there in a rickety old bus, we were read the safety rules, split into groups, appointed a jolly guide and distributed with our wet gear. This consisted of shorty wet suits, lifejackets and plastic bags for our feet - don't ask. Claire, Charlotte and I were teamed up with a pleasant family from Norway, all of whom, including the kids, seemed to be blonde and over 6 feet tall.

We all look particularly becoming don't you think?

A few instructions as to what to do if you fell in (panicking and freezing being already givens) and we were handed our little oars, took up our positions and launched into the fast moving waters of the Athabasca river. Charlotte sat in-between Claire and I and her job was very simple - scream at various intervals and hang on. Actually, I think that was me...Our guide and mentor, Jeremy, then proceeded to regal us with stories of rafts that capsized, ran aground or got eaten by bears. OK, the last one was made up, but you get my drift. Actually, after a few minutes, everyone settled down and the thrill of the experience started to kick-in. I was quite impressed with Jeremy's knowledge and skill and he had a superb knack of spotting a bit of white water and heading straight for it. After the first set of rapids and white-water navigation, it stopped becoming fun and became bloody good fun. Charlotte howled with laughter and glee everytime we got soaked. Our trip lasted about 45 minutes and took us right past where we were staying. Claire even rang ahead and told her dad when we were coming through so that he, Enid and Eleanor could stand on the river bank and wave as we bounced past. Eleanor looked a little confused and then, when she realised what she was missing out on, looked quite miffed.

Our highlight must go to the 'last chance wave'. This was a benign looking stretch of water, which at a distance looked less than challenging until you approached it at the right angle, when the river seemed to disappear down a vicious slope and form itself into a wall of water on the other side. Before you could think of any suitable last words, the raft tipped forward, hit the water, rode up the other side and soaked everbody in several hundred gallons of water. It was brilliant. We were still picking bits of flotsam out of our hair when we arrived at our exit point and our trip came to an end. We all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, not just from the rafting experience, but the trip gave you a chance, in between moments of frantic paddling, to take in the majesty of the river and the sights contained therein. There were trees chewed down to pointy stumps by beavers, little creeks and streams created by waterfalls, a myriad of colourful birds and the constant potential of seeing the wildlife. The following day, we all took a leisurely trip down the same river in a much bigger boat, so that Bill, Enid and Eleanor could enjoy the spectacle. After the rafting the day before it was a bit tame and neatly summed up by Charlotte, "It was a bit boring dad, we didn't get wet once" That's my girl.

We are not at home to Mr Scaredy-Cat - honest